They say, hindrance occurs, shit happens , life goes on. This has exactly been true for my life lately. This post is much of a self address than to a post with facts and events for further reference.
I got myself admitted to a varsity. Not the greatest among them , but a nifty one nonetheless. Varsity life kind of lives in an equilibrium in between gigantic cockup and timid shebangs. Befriended many of my classmates (Oh by the way, most of them are GREAT. Yes, in capital ) and also made woe with some of them, given my characteristic, it’s not uncommon.
Finally I dirtied my hand with some structural programming . Talking about the taboo, C here. The migration from one of the most elegant languages of this universe, Ruby, was not easy. And given the emphasize my institution is putting on reinventing the wheel, it won’t be an exaggeration to comment that I hate it already. Heck, I still can’t see the importance to calculate all the shitty and cryptic variable interchanging algorithms. Contest programming sucks ass, PERIOD.
Relationships are complicated given the amount of sheer loads I have to balance. Still, I want to be cared. Might be too early, but yes the flow is going to the right direction. At least I would like to think so.
I’m constantly trying to revive my lost Linux wizardry . Yes , to my utter dismay, I lost it. Perhaps the other side of using Windows (Destroyed my compilation enthusiasm) and an IDE (Rubymine – which contributed to me not learning GIT :'( ) too much, when I switched on Linux after 5~6 months, I was perplexed . But the good thing is, the rust is wearing out. Thanks to one and only, my man Sarim :-) . Yes, I still loathe mac like an abomination.
One other significant thing that is worth mentioning is the change of my taste on music. I’ve been intentionally avoiding Bangla for a prolonged period of time (Started as an effort to improve my English, the habit stayed), but this is changing at last, I found Folk songs awesome beyond any measurement. Fell more in love with Country and Pop songs. Also I loved the terse yet melodious pitch of Chandrabindu.
Have to live alone from March 1st , mom is leaving to Bogra. This always sucked, being like this, alone and all. Been through this on 2010, but that was better on a sense that I had a house , been with family (though parted) and didn’t had to bother about tidying up my room ;) But this life alone will be fun. I’m being liberated from all the disciplines. Welcome to the anarchy, Nirjhor .
Dad made an one off perpetual purchase to a 3000cc beast. Shame is that, it’ll be in Bogra (Along with our current 1500cc pony) . I’m not sure how my public transport ride days will end up being, I’m hoping for the best (because that’s the only thing I can do). Also got a cozy , little , new house on Bogra. I can be wanderlust again on the vacations . Will surely love the siesta , the lazy long drives, watching sunsets, adoring the warmth of my native land, the caress my little town always offered me. Considering the sheer amount of pleasure I’ll feel being to Bogra after some rigorous Dhaka days, I already am feeling a little wet ;)
Losing interest on the social activity continues, I nowadays find those rather amusive. The reason is another story for one lazy , rainy day. Right now I’m too much of a procrastinator to write the reason why.
I really have no clue why, but I do sometimes think about dying. Its thrilling to consider the fact that, death can come at any random moment. I don’t think death is a bad thing. Dying will actually take me to the other world where there is heaven and hell (If there really is any) . That be a good thing.
I’ll finish up now. But before I do, I would like to address my family. Ma, It’s my personal shame that I’ve never been able to tell you how much you matter. You’ll be missed. Dhrubo, you never really saw the big brother in me, I accept my failure being that for you. Do know however, that I loved you, love you and will always love you. Chances are minuscule that you’ll read it, but if you do, know that you are the other part of me, bhai. **hug** . No words for Dad, he’s too busy to read this anyway .
Bleak, timid, lovely, cozy, lazy , adorable, melancholic & hectic. Sweet and sour. That’s how life is for now……………………………. I’ll finish with The Band Perry:
If I die young, Bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses.
Sink me in the river, at dawn.
Send me away with the words of a love song.